12 tips for Christmas networking

Advice on how to make the most of those seasonal networking opportunities

The Journal, December 2004, page 30

On Thursday 18 November members of the Scottish business community attended the launch event of a new business development networking group. The new group, “Critical Path”, has been set up by Debbie Entwistle – the founding director of Critical Path Marketing Ltd and Marketing Director for Morton Fraser. Debbie is passionate about business development and she teamed up for this event with Russell Wardrop and Nick Davies of Kissing With Confidence, who are passionate about oral communication (they say with a straight face) – the mix was superb and ensured a very lively event.

The need for people, especially within the professional services sector, to develop their business development and networking skills is vital. Debbie recognises that this does not necessarily come easily to everyone – most of us have to learn these skills and develop a formula which works for us. We all know it takes a while to get a law degree, yet more years to qualify and even more time developing and honing skills to eventually find a niche. By then, maybe a decade has passed since that first lecture on your first day at university. Finally you have made it – you are a fee earner, and can sit back and wait for the clients to roll up to the front door, with satisfyingly furrowed brows and guinea-stuffed pockets.

Or not.

The business landscape has changed in the past few decades, and continues to evolve at pace. How do you get past first base? Your reputation? Expertise? Level of service? Competitive pricing? That’s what they all say, and it’s all very important. But the bottom line is that business is still done face to face. Being client-intimate remains priority number one; and you won’t get intimate unless you are on the same dance floor.

Many lawyers, for example, would rather find any excuse to stay at their desk and leave the networking and business development until another day! By doing that you are giving someone else a chance to forge ahead. Everyone in the business community is either VISIBLE or INVISIBLE – no-one wants to be invisible in their networks. 

Networking is a skill and most people need some training before they perfect it. It is also a science. To be effective at networking you have to be clear about who you need to network with, otherwise any successes you gain are by sheer good fortune. Make a list of clients whom you wish to court and another list of potential targets that you would like to meet and with whom you would like to develop a relationship. Without the relationship you are unlikely to get past first base. Once you have done these tasks you will be able to gauge which of the many Christmas party invitations that land on your desk you wish to accept and by following your strategic plan you will be able to make an informed choice rather than a possibly more haphazard approach.

But remember, if you feel uneasy about walking into a room and striking up a conversation with someone you have never met before, you are not alone. Nick Davies is currently teaching his six year old son, George, that he must not speak to strangers. Sound familiar? Yes? Virtually all of us had the same talk from our parents. No wonder then that we subconsciously feel a deep sense of horror at the thought of being thrust into that room full of strangers with the instruction to go and make friends!

STOP: LOOK: and LISTEN – from the Kissing With Confidence® 12 Networking Tips of Christmas – we hope they help…..

Stop

…1 And think for a minute about what might interest others before going on about your work (even if you do something fascinating like law, accountancy or actuarial work). Try to practise your small talk – what is your favourite film; book; food; holiday destination? (If you have to think too long about your favourite book you watch too much television!)

… 2 Talking about how bad the weather/car parking/economy is. This can drag the conversation down so be positive be someone that people enjoy talking to (accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, don’t mess with mister in-between).

… 3 And take a wee while to think about what makes you interesting (there must be something).

… 4 Going into your pocket for a business card after just a few minutes (what’s all that about?). There are no prizes for collecting the most business cards – people never gained more business by collecting business cards alone.

Look

… 5 And use your eyes when you arrive to get a sense of the occasion.

… 6 For someone appropriate to talk to, then simply go up and introduce yourself. Don’t wait too long, or before you know it you’ll be reading the fire escape instructions and drinking too much. Don’t be the weirdo on their own.

… 7 But with your brain engaged. If two people are deep in conversation leave them alone (they may be looking for mistletoe, not company).

… 8 Confident and relaxed, make eye contact and smile (look at their body language for signs they would rather be washing their hair or painting the lounge ceiling). And remember to look good!... Dress for success (polyester musical Christmas tie? Trying too hard).

Listen

… 9 Actively by looking as if you are listening as well as simply hearing.

… 10 To names at the beginning of conversations and repeat them a few times to embed them (this is important, so concentrate).

… 11 By adopting good posture and an appropriate distance (just over a metre shows you are interested: too much closer and you are too interested, too much farther away and you are a stalker).

… 12 And affirm with wee noises like uh-huh and mm as well as nods and the like (shows you are conscious, always a good thing), and with occasional interjections, making relevant comment and adding your own stories (shows you understand, but avoid taking over).

…and PS

It was that inveterate socialite and party animal Oscar Wilde who said, “Only the shallowest people do not judge by appearances”. So if you are one of those people, remember – the rest of us do! Enjoy all the parties, but consider what you’ll look like at the end of the night, not just what you’ll look like at the beginning.